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made a big montage. that, my friends, that's my favorite, that one right there. so vicious, so mean, so cruel, and i don't hear it coming from conservatives about liberals. that is, if i may say, some of the most free-range, organically grown, disingenuous idealogically marinated unself-awareness i've ever seen in the wild. but you know what, it's woken me up. ed to reality of what some people face in this country, just for their political beliefs. you know, if you want to learn more about the hateful hyperbolic name-calling and malice mongering that people on the right face every day in this country, visit your local library and check out some of these informative titles. while you listen to the list,i'm just going to enjoy a little snack. [laughter] >> joining us now from washington, syndicated columnist michelle malkin, the author of the book "unhinged crn exposing liberals gone wild." >> fox news contributor jonah goldberg is here. >> "arguing with idiots." >> ann colter is the church of "godless: the church of liberalism." >> how islam and the left sabotage america. >> how the left
: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call them-- the troubles. (laughter) brooks had already resigned her post friday,
, drought, wildfire, laker victories, even alien invasions, but this is the big one, folks. increased traffic on two off-peak days. you know what that means, someone might have to walk someplace. [laughter] think of the children. pray for them. i certainly hope los angeles survives because i've got to be out in l.a. or the big angel, as they say, in just a couple months. i don't want to but it's business because this morning i got nominated for an emmy. [cheering and applause] yep. yes. this is what they look like in person. [audience chanting "stephen"] yes. [cheering and applause] i see these people on the red carpet. now i've already got two for the show, so this could possibly lead to an emmy three-way. see. they're all girls. i checked. [laughter] now, "the report" is nominated for best directing, best writing and best late night show. unbelievably we were once again snubbed for outstanding achievement in prosthetic make-up. people just don't realize that under this i'm like admiral ackbar. [laughter] but for the first time, i was nominated twice in the same category, first for "
, like he did to you in an e-mail. we'll be right back. [cheering and applause] ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. young boy: my polo's lookin' fly! young girl: we're all dressed for show and tell. mom: and it's only july! kids: july?! anncr: who's ready for school? old navy khakis from $12 dollars, polos from $5.50. everybody. thank you. my guest tonight is a harvard professor of philosophy. i'll ask him, what is the sound of one audience clapping? please welcome michael sandell. [cheering and applause] thank you. professor, please, sit down. all right. sir, let's get the crm v. out here. it's kind of impressive for those who like things. you're a professor at harvard, so you're smarty pants. you have thought political philosophy since 1980. you teach a special undergraduate court called "justice." 15,000 students have taken it so far. you can watch this on youtu
those examples to test big philosophical ideas, justice, fairness, individual rights, property rights, the meaning of the common good, what is it to be a citizen. so what the book does and what the course does is to try to connect big ideas of philosophy with the arguments we have about politics and about ethics every day. and my hunch is that if we did that in our public life more generally, our political debates would go a lot better than they're going today. >> stephen: now i happen to think that the answer to "what is the right thing to do" is it is generally that thing that you least want to do. [laughter] it's the thing that never falls off your list but is always at the bottom of your list. and you're always looking the pay someone else to do it. is that anywhere in your equation? >> no. no. [laughter] no. but it is sometimes hard to do the right thing. and the challenge for politics and for moral reasoning is to see if we can do a better jonathan we are doing these days at reasoning, even disagreeing together publicly about big moral questions. so what i'm trying to do in the
't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter] and my guest alexandra pelosi made a documentary about immigrants becoming u.s. citizens. i'm going to watch it backwards and make them all leave the country. [laughter] the pope wrote his first tweet today. he is truly the vessel through which god wastes time. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert repor captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: thank you very much. very kind. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. [cheers and applause] thank you, very kind. nation -- [cheers and applause] i don't know actually -- thank you, please, please. please -- i have to -- i don't honestly know why i fight you. i like it more than talking. nation, as an american, i demand choice! whether it's 23 f
. [laughter] let's go in 2012. of course, the big story continues to be my summer concert series: [take: ots: stephest logo] stephest colbchella o-leven, the greatest journalist-hosted summer concert series since greta van halen week. a lot of great bands, the headliner, of course, is dr. pepper, my corporate sponsor. last night's kickoff was a huge success, but i want to apologize for using this t-shirt cannon to fire dr. pepper cans into the audience. [laughter] to those in the first three rows last night, let me just say-- and i mean this sincerely --by entering my studio, you waived your right to sue me. now, folks, i'm not just a music lover, i'm a music-doer. in the '80s, i was lead singer of the new wave rock band stephen and the colberts. you may remember us from our billboard-eligible hit, "charlene - i'm right behind you." jim? ♪ i think of you and i dream of you when i'm taking pictures of you. ♪ i think of you when i'm in a plant looking down from up above you ♪ ♪ you know i'm missing you ♪ my mind is kissing you [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i did not -- [cheers an
, a survey names america's least active city. it's a big announcement, so put on your formal sweatpants. [laughter] and my guest, gary sinise is here to talk about entertaining the troops. luckily, this is their favorite show. [laughter] every time god closes a door, he opens a window. clearly, he's not the one paying for air conditioning. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. [cheers and applause] [crowd channeling stephen] --] crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. good to have you with us. please sit down. [cheers and applause] i know you are excited. the holidays are coming up. folks, monday is july fourth, named for our four fathers: george. benjamin, thomas, and ringo. [laughter] i always check my calendar to find out what day it falls on, and this year, it's on july 4th. wow, feels like it's getting earlier and earlier every year. there are so many great traditions. of course, every year, i take the kids out and we cut down an american flagpole.
all. >> i can't help be a little cynical here because we find out the president has a big birthday bash scheduled for august 3, celebrities flying in from all over. and lo and behold august 2 is the deadline for getting something done so that he can have this massive... maybe the biggest fund-raising dinner in history a birthday celebration. >> stephen: of course! obama just wants to raise the debt ceiling so he can raise the roof! (laughter and applause) and folks, it's his 50th birthday bash so he's going to be partying out with his hollywood buddies like beyonce, george clooney, matt damon, brad and angelina, skinny jonah hill. dumbledore. (cheers and applause) meanwhile, meanwhile, me and louie gohmert aren't even invited. i say we let the economy go down the (bleep). stupid birthday. we just have to make sure that this thing is fixed by august 18 because that's louie gohmert's birthday! and his party is going to be way better. it's going to be him, michele bachmann and steve king eating pizza at the corner booth. (applause) and i didn't get invited to that one, either. we'll b
mortgages. which explains wells fargo's short-lived spokesman sir owes-a-lot. (rapping) he likes big debts, and he can apply! you other brothers can't deny, when a banker walks in with an itty-bitty rate and a big loan in your face, you get sprung! [cheers and applause] but now, one man is standing up to wells fargo. and winning the fight, he is tonight's difference maker. [cheers and applause] ♪ for too many years, average homeowners have been powerless against big banks but if philadelphia, one man, patrick rogers fought back and actually foreclosed on the foreclosers as we learned from cnn's don lemon. >> thank you for joining us. you are becoming a folk hero among homeowners especially those stresd about paying their mortgages. there's been some resident resolution to this case, hadn't there? >> there has. >> stephen: does he have fangs? oh, my god he's not a difference maker he's a vampire. this story got good. go get 'em don. >> you are a hero to a lot of people and thank you for coming on. >> stephen: what? no -- don, ask him about being a vampire. do you see the little teeth righ
to think that was a big deal that i said we tell the other side of the story. i wish i had said the full story. here's what i meant. >> jon: wait. that was a big deal that you said that. that's your setting the record straight? i accidentally told the truth and wish i could take it back? you're not the... ( cheers and applause ) that's crazy. how are you not the counterweight? >> let me give you a classic example of what fair and balanced means to me. after hurricane katrina, the mainstream media piled on fema for its failure to respond to the crisis. and the federal government did a lousy job. but it was fox news that started reporting on the failure of the first responders, the city of new orleans and the state of louisiana to help people. yes, we reported fema's problems but we also told the other side of the story. >> jon: that's your example? you had a week to prepare an example and you came up with in 2005 everyone was (beep) on the republicans and we made sure they understood that local louisiana democrats (beep) too. i mean, just out of curiosity in your week of digging for that
it big enough to be seen from england. sends a message. (laughter) but enough about me, folks. let's get to the big news, me. you see before the break the fec gave me permission to form colbert superpac and collect unlimited donations. when i merged from that crowd my g-string was stuffed with dollar bills. and i wasn't even wearing a g-string when i started. so thanks to whoever donated that. and the media reaction has been overwhelming. with headlines like colbert superpac pushes the limits of election law. cole pert superpac good for government and good for us, and colbert is a superpac la boeuf over transformers. (applause) >> stephen: no surprise. no surprise, my superpac and the transformer series have a lot in common. i can also rake in millions of dollars for no apparent reason. so -- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, hogging the space a little bit there. so folks if you have not done so already go over to colbert superpac.com and sign up. so far over 94,000 of you have become members. and trust me, and one person clap -- and trust me, no, no, it's too late. and trust me,
't just come barging in here like that. what are you doing? - okay, look, it takes a big man to admit defeat, but you were right; i was wrong. everybody should be able to get married to whoever they want, which got me thinking about you and me. - oh, no, i'm not gonna marry you, if that's where this is headed. - what? dee, i would rather get shot in the face. - okay, then what are you doing here? - i'm glad you asked. i'm moving in. also, i need to get on your gym membership, because i got to get back in there asap before i lose this pump. what's with the beers? are you carbo-loading? - no. [gags] - oh, what are you doing? are you gonna throw up? - no. [gags] - then why are you gagging? - [coughs] - because, dee, that triggers my gag reflex too, and then i feel like i'm gonna throw up. - it's fine. i had some bad spaghetti... spaghetti. [gags] - [gags] oh, dee. look, the point is, the reason i came over here is because you were totally right about this marriage thing, okay? it is a special bond between two people in love. and everybody deserves that right. [both gagging] look, i'm thi
's leader. back-up weekend gretchen thinks there may be one big difference between romney. >> i think he could get a lot of money from that. >> big time. >> romney obviously not being a christian. >> jon: what? someone get that woman to book a mormon. really, ? can't get in until february 2014? wow, that thing is doing well. well, i'm sure back-up weekend gretchen's producers will point out the fallacy of her reasoning during the next commercial break. >> during the 6:00 a.m. i mentioned that mitt romney was not a christian. he is a member of the jesus christ of latter-day saints church, and that church does consider its members christians. >> jon: oh, and one other thing, time for lutherans to [bleeped] or get off the pot. reformation is over. you're in or you're out. we'll be right back. so, what are we going to do with this? i don't know. the usual? [ blower whirring ] sometimes it pays to switch things up. my - what, my hair? no. car insurance. i switched to progressive and they gave me discounts for the time i spent with my old company. saved a bunch. that's a reason to switch. big
consumer watchdog with just one job, looking out for people, not big banks, not lenders, not investment houses, looking out for people-- . >> jon: what, wait, who? who are we looking out for before? (laughter) anyway, the dodd frank act is now one year old. and here to discuss the effect it's having in reforming a damaged financial system, we're very lucky to have with us tonight, hr 4127-- 4173. the dodd frank act, everybody. (cheers and applause) ♪ i'm alone ♪ a 2000 page long ♪ congress passed me without voicing ♪ ♪ i make sure wall street plays by the new regulation ♪ ♪ protecting your investments across the nation ♪ ♪-- . >> jon: hang on there just one second. >> what. >> jon: i'm sorry dodd frank. >> uh-huh. >> jon: what the hell happened to you? >> what dow mean? >> jon: i don't want to say it but you look like [bleep]. >> oh, easy, washington's a tough town, jon. since getting passed yeah i've taken a few shots but i'm still standing. yes, yes, yes, i'm still standing. i'm still here. (cheers and applause) >> in fact, just last week my all new consumer financi
. you'll need it. >> jon: anarchy. we'll b ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. let me tell you this. the marriage equality act passing in new york wasn't the only bit of good news here this weekend. take a look at this. >> up next, setting the record straight about our interview last week with jon stewart. >> jon: yes! finally. ( applause ) let me tell you what's going on. i do an interview with chris wallace. i mentioned fox news viewers were the most consistently misinformed viewers in every poll. politifact said i shouldn't have said every poll. just most. i brought up a 21 lie salute of politifact spot fact checking so i assume that chris wallace now begins the work of apologizing for fox's many false and misleading statements. probably do a blooper show and carry us into the 2014 midterm s with a clear conscious. >> do you believe that fox news is exactly the
. january jon can we say first episode what... >> it's all about a big fart. the whole first episode is about a fart. and... >> jon: how long is the fart? >> i think it was 42 seconds long or something like that. [laughter] one-tenth of an episode is a fart. more than one-tenth. 20% of the episode is a fart. >> jon: i don't let your children watch your show. i don't let them watch my show, but i brought them in the room for the 42-second fart. they're still talking about it. >> listen, farts take a lot of [bleeped] for being... >> jon: what? >> they do. people think that that's low-brow humor, stupid humor. to me a fart is funny. fart is... let's break down a fart for a second. >> jon: please. >> okay. it comes out of your ass. [laughter] okay. it smells... >> jon: i'm glad you went for that number one. >> it comes out of your ass. it comes out of your ass. it smells like poop. because it's been just hanging out next to it for a long time. and it makes a little trumpet noise. come on, man. what's not funny about that? your ass flesh rubs together and it makes a noise that smells like
. >> head of scotland yard stepped down amid public outrage yesterday. >> stephen: big deal. who cares if the head of scotland yard resigns. why is scotland yard policing england anyway? call me when the head of england yard resigns. that's news. now thankfully, folks, there is a voice of reason out there. boston friend steve doocy who last friday blew the lid back on to this story with some pr guy who may or may not be employed by rupert murdoch. jimmy, pitch me off a deuce. >> what do you make of what this particular hacking scandal with the news of the world. >> the "news of the world" is a hacking scandal t can't be denied but the issue really is why are so many people piling on at this point. >> avenue's got some serious problems in this country right now. we are teetering on default with. what do they do. they talk about this. >> we know it is a hacking scandal. shouldn't we get beyond it and really deal with the issue of hacking? i mean citicorp has been hacked into. bank of america has been hacked into. i think any of the same kind of attention for hacking that took place less
it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. >> welcome back. my guest tonight, very funny comedian. his show fx's "louis." thank goodness it's back for another season. >> it's a mother dog. it's a mother dog like 14-nipple belly. that's what happens if i go like this. it's happening now, you just can't see it. it's a six pack for a whole other reason. it just hangs in sections. it actually is three sections with a split in the middle. >> jon: please welcome back to the show "louis"ck. [cheering and applause] >> that was really funny. >> jon: great to see you. >> thank you. [cheering and applause] >> jon: i'm so glad the show is back on. >> thank you >> jon: you want to do it again? >> i don't want to shake. i just want us to hoover. >> jon: do the hover shake. first episode was so good. >> thank you. jon and your acting now is getting good. >> you were describing it. i thought you were
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 144 (some duplicates have been removed)

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